Munch: Burger Liquor

A feed for fuck-all

What: Hamburgers

Price: $9.99

When: 8:00pm - 10:00pm; Friday & Saturday 

If you’re happy to wait, this is a delicious deal. 

⭐⭐⭐

It’s been a while since I’ve featured a ‘meal deal’ here. There’s been a lot of low-cost menus, or fudging entrees and side dishes together into something satisfying. It’s high-time that I let an eatery do the fudging for me. So this week, it’s off to the Willis Street bar that sounds like a McDonald’s smut fic from 2008: Burger Liquor. 

Their $9.99 hamburger deal is hard to track down and harder still to obtain: it’s only advertised on a poster down Elmers Avenue, doesn’t feature prominently on their website, and can’t be ordered on Uber Eats or Delivereasy. Of course, you could always sit in at the bar; the staff and vibe is lovely, a kind of Willy-Wonka’s American diner of spiked milkshakes and wonderful fried things. 

But I’d recommend getting the hamburger to take away. It’s ready in a flash, so you could call up in advance or order in person, just as long as you’re there after 8pm. Take the long way home and let the smoky-sweetness of charred beef and molten cheddar waft around your head like in a Looney Tunes scene. By the time you get home and pick at the clumps of caramelised onions peeking out of the bun, you’ll be weak at the knees. Or, at least, I was. 

This deal is basically Burger Liquor’s The Standard but at half the price. It comes with a single smash patty, cheddar, pickles, browned onions, and a tomato-mustard-mayo burger sauce. This, on its own, is pretty good. The patty is covered in Maillard char and dripping with meaty oils, each crevice and edge on top filled in by a smooth layer of translucent cheese. Some people get iffy about pickles or onions on their burgers but I think these are compulsory for rounding out this experience. With no other vegetables in this meal, the acidity of the sliced gherkins is key to cut through the richness of the fat and protein, making the whole burger juicier and lighter. The sweet, grilled onions play their supporting role well, as does the tangy amalgam of sauce that inevitably ended up halfway down my forearm. It’s a simple affair, but very well done. 

While delicious for its price, a single burger wasn’t quite a whole meal for me. Luckily, there’s many ways to bulk this out. I got two and a box of spiced Fat Fries to share between my partner and I, which was pretty filling for a final $14.99 per person. There is also the option to customise your burger with tomato, avocado, hash-browns and more, for a couple dollars each. But I think they’d hold up fine with whatever you’ve got left in the fridge on a Friday night. Be that some limp leaves of lettuce, the dregs of a tub of hummus, or a single lonely egg, the basis of this burger is good enough that it can carry almost anything. The restriction of only being available for four hours a week takes this meal deal down a significant notch, it’s hard to realistically take advantage of the discount. But, if it works out, this makes a great Friday fridge clear-out, or fodder for an evening of pre-party drinks. 

Commun(ch)ity Notices: 

Obituary: Beyond Bites, the Sri-Lankan street food and fusion kitchen at Capital Markets, has closed up shop. It’s unfortunate to see another storefront there stand dark and empty. 

Newcomer: Sri Penang on The Terrace, cousin to Little Penang, now offers a $15 student deal. Consisting of Egg Fried Rice or Noodles, plus a side and a can of soft drink, this sounds like a great new regular. 

Am I talking shit or shit-talking your favourite restaurant? Or have I overlooked a place that readers really need to know about? Send me something to chew on at: guy@salient.org.nz.