Guy van Egmond

A feed for fuck-all Caffe L’Affare What: Get Smashed burger Price: $10.00 Remarkable price, unremarkable burger. ⭐⭐ At $17 below this year’s average burger price, the Get Smashed from Caffe L’Affare was off to a good start. Plenty of other people agreed: the line for a table here was out the door when I arrived at lunchtime. Inside, the kitchen was churning out burgers; a long row of white-and-red-checked paper trays was lined up on the counter for service. Certainly a quantity-based...

A feed for fuck-all By the time this issue goes to print, Wellington will again be going feral for chunky sandwiches. Every pub, cafe, and ferry terminal will be scrambling to serve their own Wonky Bonky Baby Burger—a 60-centimetre tall monstrosity, made with the mince of a steer called Jeremy who was fed on a stash of Snickers Pods—topped with beetroot, banana, and a relish of wild dandelion root picked under a new moon, in an Arobake brioche bun. No, I jest. A midwinter festival to get...

A feed for fuck-all Kajiken What: Abura Soba Price: $17.50 When: 11:00am-8:30pm, Monday-Sunday Not worth it in value or taste, in short. ⭐ As chain restaurants go, Kajiken is a cut above. The moment I stepped in the door, I was bombarded with greetings from left and right. If a mite enthusiastic, the staff were lovely. Inside, it was all pale pine panelling, paper screens, and renditions of Hokusai’s The Great Wave out of noodles, but tastefully done. Each table has a small pull-out drawer...