Life, Love and Other Stuff: On Dating Apps, Prospects and the Price of Oil

Dear dating diary, 

It may shock you to discover that I have never downloaded a dating app. I got into a long-term relationship pretty young and haven’t needed one since we broke up a year ago. Not to sound too up myself, but I haven’t really needed to download one. I have had great success meeting people in real life! But recently, as things have quietened down a little, I have been reflecting on why I haven’t downloaded one yet. It is the norm to use one so what is holding me back? 

Firstly, I am someone who hates to text. My phone gives me immense anxiety, and I get overwhelmed by receiving a bunch of messages (which I know is so privileged of me to say as it is lovely that people are reaching out)! The thought of having to log onto another app to think of a witty response to someone’s flirty message is stressful. I already struggle to respond to friends, let alone random people on hinge!!! 

Secondly, I would most definitely get addicted to the dopamine rush of finding a match. As I have shared in previous articles, I love attention. It is incredibly validating and I will talk to people I have no interest in just to get attention. The apps would most definitely take over my life, and I am a busy girl who can’t afford the time! 

Thirdly, I am afraid that dating apps sometimes don’t do justice at portraying who you really are as a person. For example, my friend has an ex boyfriend who is quite boring (sorry) and awkward to talk to. However, over text, he is the wittiest and funniest guy I have ever met. On the flip side, I am friends with a wonderful bachelor who I would be more than willing to set any of my friends up with. Yet he has one of the worst dating profiles with absolutely no solo photos apart from one of him incredibly drunk. I am concerned that I will waste my time being fooled by someone I don’t click with or I might swipe past the future love of my life all because their profile sucks. 

However, the real reason I think I haven’t downloaded a dating app is because it brings me comfort knowing that there are still more options out there. Even if I run out of options in real life, at least I know I can still turn to dating apps! But what happens once the dating apps run barren? Where is there to go? I don’t quite know if I can handle a blow like that to my self-confidence. The illusion of prospects is enough to keep me going! Plus, it certainly gives me quite the ego being able to say I have never used an app. Which, frankly put, is quite stupid and I need to let go of the superiority complex. 

It’s not even like meeting people in real life has really been going that great for me. For example, one of my worst dating stories was with my first one-night stand. I went back to this guy's house only to find out that he works in finance for an oil company. Fuck it, I was already there and I thought I could ignore it for the evening. As things got down to business, he started to talk dirty to me... about oil prices... what the fuck. Imagine a “don’t you find it hot when I set the prices high” sort of vibe. I’m ashamed to say the sex was still good enough for me to see him again the next evening. It most definitely was not my finest moment, but a girl has got to get her fill too okay! 

I suppose the moral of the story is that dating can be bad no matter where you find these people. So perhaps I should get off my high horse and download an app. Or, well, download one when I have the time available to go on dates. It’ll probably be fun anyway and I do love to meet people! It’s just scary, okay?!?!? 

Lesson: It is easy to dismiss something out of fear of taking a chance. Lose the ego and give it a go! Unless it is sleeping with a finance bro—in that case, take caution!