Kuia/Moko

(Words by Tessa Keena - She/her - Te Ātiawa)

Kuia

Sometimes, I spend

so much time 

looking in the mirror

trying to see you.

I make too much noise

putting cutlery away

and hear bracelets

move over your wrists.

When my knuckles get tough

from going outside in winter

I don’t moisturise them.

I run my fingers over the creases

like I used to rub my face

against your hands and cheeks.

I wish I could be you

standing in your pink dressing gown

by the river

and at the same time

be the kid running up to you

with a million questions.

If I speak from so deep inside me

that I untie my tongue from fear’s grip

I am as close to you as I was 

when you sat next to me at dinner.

All these times, I am trying, 

at the very least,

to thank you. All these times,

I am everything because of you.

Kuia 

He wā ōna ka nui hoki taku te wā e pau nei i a au e titiro ana ki te whakaata me kore e kitea koe

He nui rawa taku hoihoi i a au e whakahoki maitai ana, ā, ka rongo i ngā kōmore e nekeneke ana i te kawititanga o te ringaringa.

Ka pūioio ana ōku monamona nō te putanga atu i te takurua kāre e monokutia ana e au. Ka pā taku ringa ki ngā hākorukoru.

Pērā i te mirimiria o aku kanohi ki ō ringaringa, ki ō pāpāringa. E popori ana ko koe kē ahau e tū nei me tō kahu ānewa māwhero.

i te taha o te awa, otirā, ko te tamaiti e oma ana ki a koe, e ui nei i ngā pātai miriona.

Mehemea ka puta taku kōrero i taku puku tonu, ā, ka wetekina taku arero i te ngau a mataku, he pērā taku tata ki a koe i tō nohonga mai ki taku taha i te kai o te pō.

Katoa, i ēnei wā, kei te ngana ahau,

Kia tutuki te iti rawa, te mihi ki a koe.

Katoa, i ēnei wā, nāu nei au.

Moko

Sometimes, when I spend

too much time 

looking in the mirror

I can see you.

I laugh so loudly 

at my brother’s stories

and hear your voice

echo off the walls.

When my body is able to move

without getting tired

I don’t stop running.

I go past the dairy and cafe

like I’m showing you 

all the places I used to hang out.

I wish I could meet you

and ask a million questions

about the world you live in

and at the same time

sit beside the river in silence and

watch you skim rocks across it.

If I think about the way you will speak

I want that to happen right now.

You are so close to this world

when I sing or try to make things better.

All these times, you 

remind me who I am. 

One day, I hope 

to thank you in person.

Moko

He wā ōna, ka nui rawa te paunga o te wā i a au e titiro ana ki te whakaata, ka kitea koe. 

Ka pukukata ahau ki ngā paki a taku tungāne, ā, ka rangona tō reo e paoro ana i ngā pātū.

Ka pakari ana taku tinana me te kore i wherū, ka mārohirohi taku oma. 

Ka pāhi i te toa me te kāmuri. 

pērā i taku whakaatu atu ki a koe ngā wāhi katoa i haere ai au

E popori ana ki tūtakina ai tāua kia ui au i ngā pātai miriona.

e pā ana ki te ao e noho nā koe, orua tonu, te noho ngū ki te taha o te awa me te mātaki i a koe e whakaripiripi kōhatu ana.

Mehemea ka whakaaro ake au ki te āhua o tō kupu, ko taku hiahia kia pērā ināianei tonu nei. Kei te tino tata koe ki tēnei ao nōku ka waiata, ka ngana rānei ki te whakapai.

Katoa, i ēnei wā, nāhau ahau i whakamahara ko wai rā ahau. 

E manako ana, he rā tōna, ka mihi au ki a koe, ā-tinana nei.