Void Of A Mother’s Presence

Written by : Isabella Seneuefa Leitūpo (she/her)

Eight years has gone by

And they say it gets better with time

But I don’t think it does

Tonight, I realized that I don’t remember 

What it felt like to hug you.

I don't remember what it smelled like 

When I buried my face in your 

Chest on my bad days,

And when I really let that sink in

Everything goes blank.

Trying to write about grief is like

Trying to count the number of times

I’ll sit down at a table that 

Should have one more set

Or the number of holidays

I'll have to focus on just getting through,

It’s never ending.

Trying to write about grief

Is like trying to ignore the 

Vastness of this void

I’m supposed to call life. 

I'm stuck in the present 

Trying to figure out how to miss you 

Without breaking!

...I FAIL.

This poem is a tribute to my beloved mom.

‘Ua ‘ou tau le tau’a lelei, ‘ua ‘ou fa’ai’uina la’u tausinioga, ‘ua ‘ou tāofi mau I le fa’atuatua.’