Opinion: Mauri Ora Has Gone Off the Deep End

If you’ve visited Mauri Ora’s reception lately, you might have noticed some changes. There’s a wall… with plants. But the lovable, joyous fish tank which soothed the room? It’s gone. 

As avid fish fans—In 2024, Salient proudly led a proposal for VUWSA to spend $7,000 adopting a shark—we sought to get to the bottom of this fishy business. Removing Mauri Ora’s fish tank  was clearly a load of carp, so we demanded answers from Mauri Ora’s head sturgeon himself, Kevin Rowlatt. 

“The fish and fish tank were hired by Mauri Ora,” said Rowlatt. “The company that supplied the fish and fish tank became unresponsive to our needs in late 2025, which meant for several months the tank contained only two fish. We asked for more but didn’t receive them.”

“As a result, we decided the service was not providing good value for money and cancelled the contract. The fish are safe.”In the tank’s place is the aforementioned plant wall, which Rowlatt said Mauri Ora is gradually expanding. But this isn’t the beginning of an entire soothing indoor ecosystem: the fish will not be returning. From now on, Mauri Ora is branching out with plants alone. 

Tragically, this esteemed journalist appears to be the only student floundering in grief over the fishes’ disappearance. According to Rowlatt, Mauri Ora’s denizens barely seemed to notice—or care. 

“There have been no complaints about its [the fish tank’s] absence—but we did hear that people thought the two remaining fish looked lonely in such a large tank.”

Sadly, it seems Mauri Ora’s plants have caught students hook, line, and sinker. The fish, meanwhile, have been well and truly fin-ished.