Words by Ryan Cleland (he/him)
Friends, Wellingtonians, fellow countrymen! Those used to reading the gossip columns of days gone past, those who scour Aunty Vic or the recently debuted Little Birdie. I present to you the best gossip channel, the agony aunt of Encyclopedias! Our very own humble Wikipedia.
Arguably Wikipedia is one of the internet's greatest inventions, an amalgam of the past 300,000 years of human history condensed into 22.14 Gigabytes of information, constantly updated by the people and for the people. Now the upside to this is that some of the sauciest, most tea-worthy articles of history are present on that site known to wiki-editors as “Unusual Articles”. I want to present to you some of my favourites from my time spent scouring the free encyclopaedia.
List of Sexually Active Popes
Now, the sexual proclivities of the papacy may not be something you'd regularly think about, but if curiosity ever strikes, Wikipedia has you covered. This article contains a detailed list of popes who were sexually active during their lives, along with the reasons why. The list includes intriguing entries like Paul II, who was rumoured to have died not from indigestion caused by a melon, but instead in the throes of passion with his secret lover, a pageboy! Then there's Benedict IX, accused by his opponents of "many vile adulteries," to the point where, in 1045 AD, he resigned as pope with the hope of getting married. It seems many popes had rather promiscuous lives, and Wikipedia is there for all your research needs.
The Blood-Vomiting Game
Reading the title of this Wikipedia page must have you wondering what vile and gruesome medieval torture could have inspired such an article. In reality, it refers to a famous match in the classical strategy board game Go (shoutout to VUW’s very own Go Club). This particular game, played between Go prodigy Akaboshi Intetsu and Hon'inbō Jōwa on June 27, 1835, is notable because, near the end of the 4-day match, Akaboshi repeatedly vomited blood onto and around the board. While it could be seen as one of the biggest power moves of all time, most historians agree that it was not intentional and that Akaboshi most likely suffered from pre-existing gastrointestinal bleeding or pulmonary disease, which caused his death a few months later. Regardless, the infamous Blood-Vomiting Game of Go will “Go” down in history for its strange and dramatic circumstances.
Code Name Devil Eyes
In stark contrast to the lovable game of Go comes the CIA's war on terror, where they decided that the best way to sow dissent within Al-Qaeda was to secretly collaborate with Donald Levine, the creator of the G.I. Joe doll. Together, they designed an Osama Bin Laden action figure that was secretly engineered so that, when heated, the face would peel off to reveal a demon-like visage with red skin and green eyes. The plan was to scare children and turn public opinion against Al-Qaeda. The CIA, of course, denied the operation until 2014, when several prototypes went up for auction, selling for $11,879 and $6,250, respectively.
Ferret-Legging
Fancy yourself some extreme sports? Then look no further than the Yorkshire pastime known as Ferret-Legging, where two competitors tie the ankles of their pants shut before dropping two ferrets inside. They then quickly fasten their belts to prevent the ferrets from escaping. What follows is a test of endurance. Neither the competitors nor the ferrets are allowed to be drunk or sedated, and underwear is strictly forbidden. The sport, which has been in decline in recent years, requires little skill apart from what world champion Reg Mellor describes as "simply an ability to have your tool bitten and not care." Allegedly, the sport has been around for centuries, but it gained popularity among Yorkshire miners in the 1970s. Heaven knows why.