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Strip Club Etiquette

Words by: Cowboy (they/them)

Stepping into a strip club for the first time can feel like entering a boss level in a game without knowing the rules. Whether it's your initial visit or you've been there before, navigating the environment can be daunting.

Before looking into specific topics, it's important to note that each club has its own set of rules. Dancers may also have additional rules. What follows is a general pointer of clubs in Aotearoa regarding etiquette from my own experience.

Let's start with what you can experience at a strip club. There's a range of options available, depending on what you're seeking and your budget.

Of course, you can just enjoy watching the dancers perform while sipping on a drink, but remember to tip generously! If you're interested in conversation, you can engage in a chat with a dancer. It doesn't have to be serious, and you might be surprised by  what you end up talking about. 

For those seeking a little more excitement, you can opt for a cheeky lap dance in a  private room. Of course these rooms can also be booked for a more intimate gathering, whether it's for partying, chilling, or chatting. If your craving an even spicier experience, some dancers offer additional shows during private bookings, such as dancer-on-dance performances, toy shows, or even dominatrix. Keep in mind that these extras come at an additional cost on top of the private booking fee.

It's important to note that the majority of strip clubs do not offer full-service bookings.

As an exotic dancer, I've noticed that many people are hesitant to ask or simply don't know where to begin when it comes to the etiquette of being a patron, particularly if it's their first time. So, let's delve into a few key points to ensure both your experience and that of the dancers are enjoyable.

Tip the dancers: When entering a strip club, it's courteous to tip all the dancers who have performed on stage for you. Even if you weren't actively watching, they've still been standing half-naked in front of you, giving it their all for 5 to 10 minutes. If you're with a group, make sure several of you contribute to tipping the dancers for their artistry.

Most dancers make their income on tips and earnings from private dances. As blunt as it may sound, if you're planning on only there for a drink and not tipping please dont come in. Like any other professional, dancers appreciate being paid for their hard work and talent rather than working for free. Additionally, tipping after a private booking is greatly appreciated and welcomed. 

Funny Money vs. Real Money: When you enter a strip club, you typically will purchase what we call 'funny money,' which is used to tip the dancers. It can often be purchased at the bar or reception. However, we absolutely love and prefer real money! Save up all your $5.00, $10.00, or more to bring into the club. The dancers always greatly appreciate being tipped with real notes!

Consent is sexy. Not only is that, it is mandatory. Consent in a strip club goes both ways! Refrain from touching the dancers unless they've explicitly given permission. Even when tipping or enjoying a private dance, it's crucial to honour both the dancer's personal boundaries and the club's regulations. No Touching, unless you are paying. 

During a tipping round, dancers might invite you to contribute by placing money in their underwear or indulging in a cheeky motor boat.  However be aware this isn't an invitation to engage in unwanted physical contact such as kissing, licking or placing money where the sun don't shine. 

If you're uncertain about any boundaries, don't hesitate to ask. There's absolutely no shame in seeking clarification, but the most important thing is to wholeheartedly respect those boundaries once they've been communicated. Remember, dancers are human beings too, so treat us with kindness and respect. 

Enjoy the experience rather than trying to capture it. Please don't take photos or videos inside the club. Most clubs have a strict no-photography rule. If you need to use your phone, ask the staff for the best way to go about it. 

Respect the Boundaries of the Club: Despite being stunning, talented, and mesmerising, being an exotic dancer is a profession. If I had a coin for every time someone asked me what time I'm finishing, if I'd go home with them, or if they could take me on a date, I'd be rich! As much as you might desire an experience beyond the club's walls, dancers appreciate the security provided by the club and its strict rules. Entering a strip club in search of a girlfriend or a hookup isn't appropriate.

We Are On the Clock: We genuinely appreciate it when patrons respect our time. Here are five rules to help achieve this:

  1. Be upfront if you're not seeking company. A simple, polite response like, "Thank you for the offer, but I'm not looking for company right now/tonight," is appreciated.

  2. If a dancer sits with you and they're not your type, kindly express your appreciation for their time but mention that you were hoping to spend time with someone else tonight.

  3. If you're interested in having a conversation and sharing a drink but not looking for a private booking, please communicate that clearly.

  4. If a dancer spends considerable time with you, tip them for their time and offer to buy them a drink.

  5. Avoid promising to take them for a dance if you have no intention of doing so. 

One more hot tip: Everyone wants to have a fun and enjoyable night, this includes dancers. Come into the strip club fresh and presentable. I'm not saying you have to wear a suit, but  we look our best for you, so why not treat us and come at your best too. 


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