Munch

Welcome back to Munch, where I have startling news. Certain readers of my work have made crude insinuations about the content of my first column, claiming to find lewd double-meanings within my diction. I have chosen not to engage with such libel and will continue to publish my humble guide to eating out with honesty and innocence.

However, this week we will deviate slightly. 

Pōneke is a beautiful city this time of year and—as the adage goes—you simply can’t beat it on a good day, even if you’re alone. Inspired by the beautiful weather we’ve had recently, I wanted to share some prime locations where you might take a loved one (or ones), lay down a blanket or a towel, and enjoy a good meal. 

What: Princess Bay

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During Wellington’s generally week-long summer, it’s important to go and make the most of the sunshine, clear skies, and warm weather. On our little peninsula, there are a multitude of stunning beaches which are suited for all sorts of activities. The water down here tends to stay cold until the very end of the season, and with the risk of a southerly breeze or  shitstorm never an impossibility, sometimes it’s best to get wet without going in the water. If that appeals, may I recommend Princess Bay around the twilight hour. It’s a beautiful spot that catches most of the sunset, the next best thing after the Makara coast (though Tongue Point is meant to be spectacular, if you can go down there). 

The multiple carpark bays at Princess are surrounded by beachside shrubbery and offer some modicum of privacy, should you wish to dine in the car relatively undisturbed. While it’s a well-known spot for late-night liaisons, most people understand the desire for seclusion and will opt to pull in to their own bay. If you’re worried, adopting a Chappell Roan “Casual”-style dining position should keep you covered from the eyes of passersby. And, should you need to wash your hands or mouth afterwards, the sea is right there; a cold dip is always refreshing after a particularly spicy affair. 

What: Wrights Hill

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If sunsets by the sea don’t whet your appetite, why not take your snack  somewhere a little higher. The nighttime vistas from Wrights Hill are sure to get a rise out of any partner. Like Princess Bay, there are separate carpark areas—one with a view over the starry city lights, while the other side looks over the shadowy Makara hills and blinking red-light district of the West Wind farm. Everyone loves dinner and a show, even if it’s just you having dinner while they get the show. 

If people have beaten you to the parking lots and you’re not into being watched while you eat, why not explore the gun emplacements and underground tunnels dug throughout the hill. A little spooky, maybe, but that’s good to get the blood pumping, and I’m sure there’s plenty of space down there for a proper, sprawled-out picnic. 

What: Mount Victoria 

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However, neither Princess Bay nor Wright’s Hill are super accessible, both sitting on the outskirts of the city. They’re certainly not public-transport-able, unless you don’t mind a 20 minute walk to work up your appetite. However, for an evening of dining out with a partner, you’re likely to want your own space anyway, so a car is rather useful. Those mindful of the time might wish to explore a closer peak—seeking their own nook on Mount Victoria, for example. It can be reached easily by car, by bus, by bike, or foot, and I’m sure that intrepid diners will find a lovely, quiet spot to dine together. 

May I advise, however, not to get too excited. Of course you want to have at it while everything’s hot; your imagination is thinking ahead already and your mouth’s started watering. But on this peak, patience is key... definitely for those bringing their own car. Tempting as it may be, do not lean over for a quick taste. These winding, one-lane roads require focus and good reflexes on the brakes, no matter how worked up you are for what’s to come. Take it slow and steady (there’s no points for arriving first, anyway). And for those taking public transport, absolutely not! No eating on the bus.

This list is by no means exhaustive of where to eat out in Wellington, consider it just the tip. As always, bring plenty of napkins, packaging, and something to wrap leftovers in, make sure everyone is happy with what’s on the menu, and give your compliments to the chef. Eet smakkelijk!