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  • Rose Merlini

I love baby Yoda

Rose Merlini has spoken

When I say the word love, the picture that most likely comes to your mind is of a couple of people, both infatuated with each other. The love goes two ways. They are an item. Their love brings fulfilment. It is an amazing and rewarding feeling, one that people devote their lives to searching for, allowing the pursuit of love consume them whole. I’ve been there, searching for love and (if you’ll allow me to be a bit dramatic) being destroyed in the process. But to tell you the truth I personally don’t love the idea of being consumed whole, so I decided, on my daring adventure for connection, to pursue a different type of love.

One alternative is loving one’s self. The extreme of this is the Gwyneth Paltrow faith, in which Goop products are the foundation of mind and soul and wellbeing. I didn’t dip my toe into those waters. I did, however, buy into the idea that if I love myself, that would be just as fulfilling—I would be emotionally healthier, and people would like me more for doing so (it sounded like a pretty good deal). And, they say, you have to learn to love yourself before you can be ready to love others. 

This philosophy tends to be perceived as the ‘healthier’ approach. It can be just as devastating as the pursuit of love. I found that self love can’t be forced. Trying to do so and falling short, not gaining those coveted emotional benefits, feels like a failure. Now, I really don’t think this is a healthy mindset. It doesn’t even make sense! What has my level of love for myself got to do with me being happy? Besides, society trains us to be humble and not think too much about ourselves, and I must say I quite like it that way: I think it leads to more likeable and generous people. So there’s no way I’m about to suddenly go narcissist mode in an attempt to feel some love, it’s taxing and it probably doesn’t even work.

The stress that comes with loving is so much to carry, what are we possibly expected to do about it? Well…

One day I was out for a walk, soaking up the rays, listening to my tunes when I began to pay closer attention than I usually do to the lyrics of my music. I found that Mitski had managed to articulate, in her song “My Love Mine All Mine”, a feeling that I had been feeling for a while. Nothing in the world belongs to me / But my love mine, all mine, all mine.

It can be so hard to trust and to rely upon the love that we may or may not be receiving, but the love we have to give is ours and its always there. Can you believe it? On my brave adventure, searching far and wide for the concept of ‘love’, it was right there the whole time!  

Loving things is easy to do, it just happens. I’ll go first: without even having to use my brain I can tell you I love baby Yoda; everything about him fills my heart with joy. I love my friends and even some people who aren’t my friends, such as my parents’ friends who I haven’t seen in many years. I love Taco Bell and the unrivaled sensation of biting into a beefy cheesy burrito. I love the glow of the full moon, it brings me a peaceful feeling.

These are just a few examples of things which I take pleasure in loving. But what I love is not relevant to you. It could be anything. This third type of love which I’ve discussed isn’t about the things or the people you love, it’s about you and about the act of loving so effortlessly. And let it be clear that I don’t expect baby Yoda to love me back. If he did then that would be a) creepy, he is 50 years old and also not real, and b) it would be a different kind of love.

The act of loving has the power to be all consuming in the best way possible, and realising that you have all this love already inside of you (for free, might I add) is invigorating.

You don’t have to be in love in order to love. You don’t even have to be best friends with someone in order to love them. You don’t have to love yourself in order to love. And perhaps most importantly, I don’t have to show my love to others in order for me to know that it’s there. It’s mine, it’s comfortable, and it’s never going away.


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