Hunk Unc: How do you get over someone that ghosted you?

If you’re on a dating app—or honestly just trying to meet anyone—it’s pretty likely you’ll end up getting ghosted at some point. The 21st century gave us great things: streaming, online shopping, and food delivery at 1am…but it also gave us some proper rubbish ones. Ghosting being right up there.

Your Hunk Unc has done his time in the trenches of the dating apps, and here’s the reality: it’s hard. So hard, in fact, this Hunk eventually jumped off them, worked on himself over summer, and picked up hobbies he actually enjoyed—not just doomscrolling virtual tamagotchis with fish photos and “looking for something casual” bios.

But anyway… you’re not asking about apps.

You’re asking what happens when you like someone, and for whatever reason, they vanish.

Ouch.

First step to getting over it: let it hurt.

I know, I know—what you want to do is act like they never mattered anyway, that your life is better without them, and they’ve missed out on this big beautiful love story you two totally could’ve had. But let’s be honest—if you’re writing into an advice column about someone ghosting you, you cared about them. Even a little bit.

And that’s fine. Actually, it’s a good thing.

You cared. Which means you’re capable of caring again—in your next relationship, situationship, or whatever-ship you’re heading toward. That’s not embarrassing. That’s something to keep. Right now though, that care feels like hurt, so feel it. 

Complain to your mates. Write terrible poetry. Draft texts you’ll never send. Play Adele or Florence + The Machine at irresponsible hours. Or be like your Unc and go lift heavy circles at the gym—elite distraction, highly recommended. Just try keep it constructive, not self-destructive. Substances aren’t therapy, bro.

Also—don’t spend the next calendar year mourning a two-month situationship. But do give yourself time to process it. The real sting with ghosting is your brain fills in the gaps. You start imagining what life would’ve been like if they hadn’t disappeared: the dates, the trips, the chats, the sex, the inside jokes, the “maybe”. You’re grieving potential.

But here’s the important bit—and you probably know where this is heading: they ghosted you. They didn’t send a 10-second message. Not even a “hey sorry, not feeling it” text. Not a “met someone else.” Not even a low-effort thumbs-up exit. Nothing.

And this is the tough love section: they didn’t care enough to communicate. You cared. They didn’t—at least not enough to do the bare minimum of respect. Hard pill to swallow, but necessary. Because once you accept they weren’t actually this ideal person—even if the banter was great, the chemistry was great, whatever—they still chose the easiest path for themselves instead of a kind one for you. And yeah… that’s a bit stink.

So to get over someone who ghosted you, grieve it, then reframe it. They showed you how they handle discomfort and communication, and that behaviour isn’t partner material. Your person wouldn’t treat you like that. Whoever you end up with should offer kindness, respect, and basic adult communication—bare minimum standard stuff.

So I’m holding your metaphorical hand when I say this: you dodged a bullet. Let it hurt, then recognise you deserve someone who at least has the courage to send a text. Bare minimum effort is still effort, and they didn’t even manage that.