Words by: Brooke Robinson (she/her)
As a woman, I’ve had my fair share of unavoidable, painful conversations with self-proclaimed ‘male feminists’ that lead nowhere. No matter how many points I bring up about the female experience, there always seems to be a key player missing—empathy! It’s hard to imagine such a widespread, well-known cause being so difficult for people to back. But here we are. So, I would like to present to you this step-by-step course to help guide those wanting to make even the slightest change, because hey, we need to start somewhere.
Module 1: There’s No ‘I’ in ‘Team’.
Drop the notion that you are at the heart of everything. Feminism isn’t something to use to impress your crush. Feminism isn’t about you—hell, it isn’t even about me. It’s about women. It’s about acknowledging the very different life experiences of women. In truth, you probably know nothing about the realities of being a woman. The patriarchy blinds us all. It blinds women, too. Not even the smartest feminist knows everything. There are still things I find myself not calling people out on, or even noticing sometimes—and that’s okay. It’s crucial to approach the conversation of feminism with an open mind.
Here’s an example to put it into perspective: I, as someone who isn’t a swimmer, would never approach a conversation with a swimmer thinking I know more about swimming than they do, simply because I am human and have done a tough sport before. I know nothing about swimming. And that’s OKAY!! The key to understanding feminism is accepting that you have no understanding of it. It’s important to remember that feminism is not an attack on men. But that also doesn’t mean that men should support feminism for their own benefit. In order to uplift a minority, we sometimes need to humble ourselves so we can meet each other on the same level.
Module 2: Reapproach The Stereotypes.
Feminism doesn’t have to be a super scary, serious topic. If you’ve got a sense of humour, use it to bring light to the subject! You don’t have to tiptoe around the stereotypes like they’re bits of broken glass. All you need to do is turn them on their head and think about them in a different way. Here are some examples to consider:
“Women are too emotional.”
How about…
“Women must have a higher emotional intelligence!”, or “did you know that physical aggression is a sign of pent-up emotions?” (I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a woman punch a wall after her favourite football club loses a match…)
“She’s asking for it dressed like that.”
Hmm, maybe try this instead…
“I suppose a lot of men don’t tend to have the basic human quality of self-control. There’s no need to act like some sort of animal!”
“Boys will be boys”
Yea, nah…
“There is no excuse for bad or immature behaviour based on gender!”
It’s hard to approach the topic of gender stereotypes without mentioning the classic “not all men” (yes, I’m going there). Obviously not all men are flesh-eating monsters. But the sad reality is that all women must first assume that it is all men, to protect themselves. Ignorance is not always bliss.
Module 3: Acts of Micro-Feminism.
Micro-feminism is a new term to describe the small, seemingly insignificant acts you can adopt into your life to tackle the larger problem of misogyny. These actions can range from minor to significant, so I’ll give you a few examples:
• Don’t act surprised when men clean the pee they left on the toilet seat. Housework should no longer be a ‘women’s job’ considering we also have paid jobs now—equality in all areas!
• When discussing sports like rugby or football, assume that you’re talking about the women’s teams.
• Say “girls and boys” rather than “boys and girls”.
• Assume every cute animal and person in power is a “she” until corrected otherwise.
• Call men “sweetie”, “gorgeous”, and “darling”.
• If you’re a woman, don’t move out of the way for a man in the street—let them bump into you.
• Offer to pick up the bill for that date—imagine how much her hair, makeup and outfit cost… equality!
Congratulations on passing your first Feminism course! That wasn’t so hard, was it? I hope you enjoyed it enough to take the 200-level course next. Being a Feminist is easy enough if you hold yourself accountable (but you know all about that, being a uni student and all!), and anyone can be one. I hope after reading this, you feel a little more comfortable in calling yourself one too. Join the cause! Let’s not let feminism die when we have the option of killing misogyny instead.
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