top of page
  • Ashleigh Putt-Fallows

Don’t Do Drugs If you want your DICK to work

Ashleigh Putt-Fallows, Ngāti Whātua, Ngāpuhi-Ngāti Hine, Tūhoe

Drugs are the biggest boner killer out there and, even if they don’t kill your stiffy, they can lead to a severe case of blue balls. MDMA, acid, coke, ket and even good old weed can and likely will affect your performance in bed. 

I bet I know what some of you are thinking “I had the best sex of my life when I did ___” or,  “I could still have a great time on ____”,  and all power to you if you can. But trust me as you experiment more, mix more, or even just get older you’re gonna have to make the choice between pleasures. 

So what drugs affect you getting up? Most of them, even prescription pills can lead to erectile dysfunction or other dick based issues when it comes to the bedroom. Some of the most prescribed medicines in New Zealand, such as antidepressants and antihistamines, are notorious for cutting down your morning wood. 

Recreational drugs or party drugs can also affect your ability to get jiggy. The most commonly used recreational drugs in New Zealand are cannabis (weed), methamphetamine, MDMA, cocaine, and heroin. Each has different effects downstairs. Weed is the least risky of the common use drugs when it comes to pillow talk time, though it has been linked to erectile dysfunction and a struggle to orgasm. 

Methamphetamine is a silent hard-on murderer, as short term effects are less common and often are reported to increase sex drive; long term does the opposite, and due to the drugs addictive nature it’s easy to become dependent on. While MDMA often can prolong sex and cause intense orgasms, that's only if you can get it up. One study showed that 40% of men can’t get an erection while on the drug. Cocaine is debatably the one of the worst drugs for funny business. You’ve heard of “coke dick”—it's very likely you won’t be able to get hard or stay hard while the drug is in your bloodstream. Long term use of coke can cause permanent damage vascular damage which affects your blood circulation, including to your lil buddy. Heroin gets even worse, with a reported 74% of users struggling to climax and 65% having difficulty to get hard. Alcohol (like the infamous whiskey dick) and nicotine can also have an effect.  

Drugs in both the short and long term have physical effects which cause lack of blood to your chub—and alongside previously mentioned vascular issues and spinal reflex issues, long term effects can include a drop in libido, from reduced dopamine and testosterone. There is also a mental aspect to drug use and an unlaunched pocket rocket: consistent use of drugs to heighten your sexual experiences can mean in your sober life sex becomes less enjoyable.

It's important to acknowledge that besides the effects on your intimate life, drug use can and is very dangerous in a lot of ways and can cause mental health issues and physical issues, especially when addiction comes into play. 

All this to say if you want someone to conquer your Krull the Warrior King (aka Pork Sword), avoid drugs.


bottom of page