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DO’s and DON’Ts of Sex work

Words by Aries (she/her)

The aim of this article is to provide some guidance around the common DOs and Don’t for new sex workers as well as clients:

New Sex Workers: 

  • If working in a brothel, DO find people you are comfortable with and hang around with them, ask questions and gather as much information about the niche knowledge of the new space you're in and what clientele are like. 

  • If you're working as an independent worker or giving out a contact at all—DO use an account dedicated to your work or a work number—DON’T give out your actual personal details to anyone. 

  • DO get in touch with NZPC and utilize their free services such as STI testing and counseling for sex workers. 

  • DO use condoms and dental dams in every booking for oral and penetrative sex.

  • Don’t believe clients when they say other girls gave them extras or no condom services—they didn’t.

  • DO be strong in your boundaries and know your worth—if they want it they will pay. 

  • DON’T get too intoxicated while doing bookings—safety is paramount and you don’t want to rely on drugs or alcohol to work the job.

  • DO ask people for help when you need it—the industry can be hard and that's okay. 

  • DO listen to your body and mind—DO take breaks and take shifts off when needed.

  • DON’T show up to shifts late or without any communications. 

  • DON’T grasscut or poach bookings from other girls—we all need money. 

  • DO know your rights and what protections are in place—bad bookings can be hard but it's worse when you have no support or sympathy. 

  • DON’T let management take your money or rights away—it is not right that any worker is exploited!

  • DO engage in self care.

  • DO have your own safety plans in place—especially if your an independent worker

  • DO wash your outfits and towels often—or just put the towels in the washing machine and not the floor at least.

  • DON’T do anything you're not comfortable with—you're not a doll, you're a person. 

  • DO rant—trust me you need to and yes, they deserve it. 

  • DO know your space—exits, intercoms or safety things, cleaning materials, bathrooms, bins etc. 

  • DO know what you look good in and what helps with tips or bookings.

  • DO have hobbies or things outside of work—it's important to have a life for you. 

  • DON’T carry a self protection weapon—it's illegal to use a weapon in self defense. Try to find something that is not harmful but causes a distraction.

  • DO research brothels or work spaces before working there to see if it's the right fit for you.

  • DOn’t accept fines—fines or anything similar are not allowed to be enforced in brothels.

  • DO pay taxes—we don’t want you going to jail now DO we.

  • DO be aware of your surroundings—people can follow you, uber drives can stick around.


  • DO treat workers with respect—we are people after all. 

  • DO respect workers boundaries—we aren’t dolls and there is a reason those boundaries are in place. 

  • DO tip—if you wanna be a favorite x

  • DON’T break rules—set by the worker, club or whoever. Just DON’T. It’s annoying and the rules are made for a reason, usually safety for everyone or ya know the law. 

  • DON’T tell us we look like your wife, child or any other family member—it's gross and you know it. 

  • In fact—DON’T talk to us about your kids or wife. 

  • DON’T talk badly about the other girls we work with—if you have an actual complaint or worry report it to the appropriate person, otherwise you're gunning to get the dickhead tax. 

  • DON’T blame us if you can‘t finish or get hard—you have known your dick longer then I have and it's not my fault you took a boatload of MDMA before coming in. 

  • DO use the bathroom if you need to—we have to clean the mess left in the room and you will be charged a cleaning fee if you throw up anywhere I can’t just flush down a drain. 

  • DON’T ask for free services, discounts or no protection services—no. 

  • If given contact to a girl—DON’T abuse that or get mad when we don’t respond the way you like—we aren’t dating bro. 

  • DO offer the girls a drink if appropriate.

  • In a brothel setting—DON’T be a time waster—we know it can be hard to choose and nerves make it worse but we don’t get paid to sit with you in the lounge for an hour—if you wanna chat book a room or at least offer to pay the girls for the time chatting. 

  • DON’T go into the “girls room”/changing room/break room, it's a private space. 

  • DON’T haggle—it's a set price and in a club setting the workers don’t control that. 

  • In strip clubs—DON’T ask to go home with them 

  • In strip clubs—DON’T just watch and not tip—yes these services are in fact a luxury not a right. 

  • DON’T pressure anyone—full service or not, to do things they don’t want to. 

  • DO be clean—teeth, smell, washing your downstairs—please come in. 

  • DON’T comment on our bodies—the generalized comments like your so hot are fine but DON’T go commenting on scars etc. 

  • DON’T lecture us—we are fine earning more in an one eight hour shift then most workers in NZ earn in a week. 

  • DO ask questions if you are unsure. 

  • DO tell us if you are uncomfortable or need something—we want to make it comfortable and good for you. 

  • DON’T say or even suggest that it isn’t a real job. It absolutely is and we take far more risks than a lot you DO while doing it. 

  • DO think about what you want before coming—what DO you need from a service or want and DO communicate that. 

Bosses of Clubs: 

DON’T lie, bully or take advantage of girls. DON’T do illegal things like fine people, force girls to do things they aren’t comfortable, take money you didn’t earn, encourage unsafe sex or behaviors, offer and encourage girls to be high or drunk on shift, make girls do back to back bookings with no breaks or ignore your workers when they raise these issues with you. 

THE SAME APPLIES TO MANAGERS OR STAFF. As an employer you shouldn’t be doing this and you shouldn’t allow it in your business either. Be human and treat us they way you would like to be treated


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