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  • Ethan Rogacion

The Government’s Sooo Right - Every Problem Can Be Solved With Tunnels!


OPINION: The Government has recently put a transport policy back onto the table, one which originally reared its head in as a mooted Let’s Get Wellington Moving proposal. Transport Minister Simeon Brown has taken the LGWM ‘long tunnel’ and made it his own, adding snappy capitals and floating the idea of the Long Tunnel™, a massive 4km stretch of underground road which would go from The Terrace to Kilbirnie.

The project would be one of the most expensive infrastructure projects in this country’s history, according to reports in The Post and NZ Herald. I personally don’t think $2 billion dollars is that much money to cut down driving times across the city by a Little Bit. But just think about all the “buildings” and “people’s houses” that need to be knocked out of the way! Indeed, I think we need to celebrate the Government’s bravery, solving a problem that probably exists and might be real! 

Namely, Long Tunnel™ would make it much easier to get from the CBD to the airport, which is of interest to every student looking to flee this city as soon as they finish their degree. The Minister even indicated that he’s instructed Waka Kotahi NZTA to consider adding a singular exit to the Tunnel™ at the Basin Reserve; how generous! Who cares about the fact that commuters using SH1 tend to exit off the motorway in Te Aro anyway.

This got me thinking: if this non-problem can be solved with a tunnel, what else can a big hole in the earth help out with? What about an underground tunnel connecting Kelburn and Pipitea campuses? Or a tunnel direct from my flat to Cuba St? If the government can build tunnels and make new roads, serving a small percentage of Wellington commuters, with money that could instead be spent solving this city’s actual infrastructure issues and improving public transport, then why can’t I!


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