He kai mā te waha, kaua mā te karu

A feast for the mouth, not for the eyes

He aha kē te mea nui o te ao Māori? Ko te tāera o te kākahu, ko te whai i te tikanga raini? Kua pā atu te tāmitanga ki ngā kōhao katoa o te ao Māori, inā hoki ki wā mātou kākahu. He mea nui te kākahu ki a Māori, ā, ko ngā tini kaupapa Māori he wāhi kia whakaatu i tō taera. He wā hoki kia whakawā ai tō ake iwi ki a koe. He nui ngā mea kia whakawā atu – te tae o ō kākahu, te momo kākahu a te tāne, a te wāhine.

I ngā tangihanga, ko te ture matua ko te mau kākahu pango. Nā te kaha whakaū o tēnei tikanga e ngā kaumātua, e ngā whaea kēkē, ka pōhēhē pea he tikanga Māori – e kao! He tikanga Pākeha kē tēnei, nō Kuini Wikitoria i tōna tauā i te hinga o tōna hoa rangatira. I a au i tētahi tangi, ka tika ka mau pangi ahau, hoi, ehara i te mea e whakaae ana ki tērā tikanga, kei te whakahē kē. He aha kē mātou e whai ai i wēnei tikanga a te hunga tāmi i a mātou anō? E tautoko pea ana i te whakakotahi o te tirohanga me te whakaaro hei tā te mau kahu pango. E tautoko hoki ana i te motuhaketanga o te kākahu kaupapa – i ērā kākahu noho ai te mauri, te wairua o te kaupapa, māu e unuhia i te wā unuhia ai ngā kākahu. Ko tāku, he aha me pango ai? Me whai pea ngā ture kākahu mā ngā tangi i te hia me te wairua o te hunga mate. 

Tuarua hoki, ko te kaha hāmama i te mau hūtu mā te hunga tāne, me te panekoti mā te hunga wāhine. Ki tōku nei whakaaro me mau ia tangata i ngā kākahu pai ake ki a ia, ko te hanga e ōkawa ana. Mēnā e kaha pēhi ana i tērā ture, e pēhi ana mātou i tēnei kaupapa tāmi ki a mātou anō. E taea ana te Māori te mau tarau, aha atu raini me te mahi i ō mahi.

Ki a au nei, ko te mea nui o te marae ehara ko te kākahu, ko te manaakitanga, ko te whakawhānaungatanga nōki. Neke atu tō neketai mēnā kāore he kōrero koretake tāu. He matua kēkē āku kāore e hūtu wherēhe āke nei e noho ana ki te taumata, me te ataahua o tā rātou kōrero. Ko te tikanga ko ngā mahi a te marae he kai mā te waha, mā te hinengaro, kaua mā te karu nahe.

Blacks, suits, and skirts – what is the most important thing in te ao Māori, serving lewks or serving your hapū? Colonisation has impacted all facets of Māori culture, even the way we view fashion. Māori have always been fashion focussed with our many events being a chance to show off your gears. The marae becomes a runway, but like the runway there will be judges as well as a dress code, namely black clothes, suits, and skirts. 

At tangihanga, Māori funerals, everyone is expected to wear full black fits, rain or shine. This tradition is so entrenched you’d think it was ancient, but it’s not. Although there are some old accounts of wearing black when mourning, our widespread adoption of black funeral attire started during Queen Victoria’s reign where she famously wore black for the rest of her life following the death of her husband, Prince Albert. 

Whenever I go to tangi I wear black. Not because I agree with it, but out of respect for the kaupapa (and doing what my aunties tell me). Whenever I look around to see multitudes of grieving people clad in black, I can’t help but wonder why we are following the customs of our colonisers. I can agree that uniformity does look tidy and respectful, and with the notion of having ‘kaupapa clothes’ where the mauri of the kaupapa is lifted when you take those clothes off, but I don’t see why it has to be in black! Why can’t tangi attire reflect the essence of the person who has passed. 

I also don’t agree with the gender binary dress code. When tāne are expected to wear flash suits, and wāhine expected to wear skirts, are we perpetuating the very binary that is colonising us? Why can’t people wear what they want to wear, as long as it’s formal and tidy? 

Personally, I don’t think clothes should be a priority at marae. The thing about marae is that people won’t remember what you wore, they won’t remember what you said, but they’ll remember what they ate! Our focus should be on a feast for the mouth, not for the eyes. Hoināno, this is just some food for thought.