Salient

Top Fives by Tai: Top five animal battles

By Salient | 5 May, 2008

1. Bear vs giant squid
2. Boa vs python
3. 50 mice vs a cat
4. Alien vs predator
5. Predator vs 100 leopard seals

Top five hybrid animals
1. The Mule
2. The geep
3. The liger
4. The chimera
5. Moses (part Mohamed part Jesus)

Top five 90s fashion come-backs
1. Ripped jeans
2. Stubble
3. Flannel shirts
4. The Spice Girls
5. Shooting yourself in the face

Top five reasons to shoot yourself in the face
1. Life is not worth living
2. Nobody likes you
3. Your favourite band is My Chemical Romance
4. I want to see you die
5. Hey, who really needs a reason anyway?

Top five places to keep your 42 year old daughter and the 5 children you fathered with her
1. An apartment in Belgium
2. A religious compound in Texas
3. The exclusive Brethren Community in Nelson
4. Utah
5. A basement in Austria

Top five places to touch your self
1. In your eye
2. Between your toes
3. Behind your ear
4. Under your knee
5. At the Anzac Day dawn parade

Top Fives by Uther

Top Five Emotions
1. . Hate
3. Fear
4. Anger
5. Smugness you feel when you turn down plastic bags in shops to save the planet even though it is ultimately a futile gesture and really changes nothing to any noticeable degree.

Top Five Morals learnt from Fairy Tales
1. Don’t fuck with porridge eating bears
2. Don’t fuck with crossdressing wolves
3. Don’t fuck with clocks if you’re a mouse
4. Don’t fuck with farmer’s wives if you’re a blind mouse
5. You do not talk about fight club.

Top Five Sources of Casual Racism
1. YouTube
2. The Working Class
3. The Middle Class
4. The Upper Class
5. Salient