Salient

Things to vandalise:

By Salient | 9 Jul, 2007

1 The Mona Lisa.
2 The Hollywood sign.
3 Anything at the Tate Modern.
4 The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
5 Priceless wooden Norwegian Churches by burning them down.

Colours:

1 Electric pink.
2 Snot green.
3 Plaque yellow.
4 Vomit tan.
5 Shit brown.

Things about Winter:

1 Frostbite.
2 Using the rain as an excuse to not show up to class.
3 Flatmates jacking up your power bill.
4 Polar fleeces.
5 Coming home to a Winter wonderland of snow and ice, only to realise its all yellow.

Bogans:

1 The Back of the Y guys.
2 Dethklok.
3 Kerry King.
4 Zakk Wylde.
5 Tai Neilson.

Ways to dispose of a Corpse:

1 BBQ it, like that guy who got busted in Texas.
2 Freeze then blend for dog food.
3 Sink it. No one will fi nd it when fishing right?
4 Prop for a cannibal corpse music video.
5 Eat it! The cannibal food of choice.

Top five names you won’t want to say fast:

1 Wayne Kerr.
2 Alvin Joiner.
3 Phil McCrackin.
4 Theresa Green.
5 Mark Hunt.

Best Conspiracies:

1 That Ozzy actually wrote any of the songs he sings.
2 That lycra was a good idea.
3 That Paul Holmes’s daughter Millicent is innocent.
4 That Mark Sainsbury is actually a journalist.
5 That Helen Clark can paint.

New Careers for the Student Association Executive:

1 Interior Decorator
2 Football Hooligan
3 Crash Test Dummy
4 Sandwich Artist
5 Productive Member of Society

Metals:

1 Mercury.
2 Nickel.
3 The Heavy ones that kill you.
4 Aluminium.
5 The Church burning kind.

Places to bleed from:

1 The eyes.
2 The mouth.
3 The ears.
4 The nose.
5 Your anus.