Salient

Latest hippy bandwagons:

By Salient | 12 Mar, 2007

1. Breatharianism (a diet of light)
2. Save the (Komodo) Dragons
3. Knitting your own organic pottery
4. “Legalize Heroin… man”
5. Hunting carbon dinosaur footprints with recyclable boomerangs

Inappropriate Periods:

1. Doing a Roly-Poly with white gym shorts on
2. Hitting the high note during the National Anthem
3. Born again baptism
4. Performing naked interpretive dance
5. If you’re a man

Ways to get out of an arranged marriage:

1. Spend all your dowry money on pie… mmm pie
2. Go dyslexic. That way, things tend to de-arrange themselves
3. Start an anarchist revolution. Then no-one will ever marry, ever again
4. Run away and join the VUWSA
5. Why would you want to get out of an arranged marriage?

Comebacks:

1. Al Gore
2. John Travolta
3. Kylie Minogue
4. Batman Begins
5. The Black Caps

Rock ‘n Roll Cliches:

1. Dying at 27
2. That ‘difficult’ third album
3. Sex with groupies. It’s like shoplifting from a store in which you work
4. Make a reality TV show when your music gets too old
5. Auto-erotic asphyxiation

Mathematical Turn-ons:

1. The Pythagoras Theorem (‘cos it involves 3 sums)
2. Feigenbaum Sequences (it’s like, the onset of Chaos)
3. Godel’s Theorum (‘cos it sounds Russian)
4. Zero (it’s got a hole in it)
5. 69…

Disappointments:

1. Halley’s Comet
2. Cherry Cola
3. The Matrix sequels
4. The Third Way
5. This week’s Top Fives