Salient

Balls:

By Salient | 30 Jul, 2007

1 The Headbanger’s Ball… nah just jokes. MTV’s just gay
2 The Fetish Ball
3 The Zombie Prom… I mean Ball. But with real Zombies
4 The Date Rapist Anonymous Ball
5 That high school one I went to where some girl’s date hooked up with the head boy… no one saw that coming

Villains considered for the new Fantastic 4 film:

1 The Chrome Cod peace
2 The Pink Pussy
3 The Anal Aryan
4 The Black Guy
5 The production company for not funding the coke habit of Jessica Alba

Ways for Emos to kill themselves:

1 An electric bread knife
2 Huffing paint
3 Car crash
4 Face in a blender
5 Listening to My Chemical Romance’s Black Parade 20 times on repeat

Music Sub-cultures that need to fuck off and die:

1 Emo
2 Goth
3 Indie Kids
4 Punk
5 The Alt-Hippie folk collective

New comic book superheroes:

1 Cholera Man
2 H.I.V African American Man
3 Rohypnol. The memory loss superhero
4 Tipper Gore
5 Deth

Cultural Clubs:

1 Boobs. Brotherhood Of Ordained Bogan Students
2 The Men’s Group… well…if I could figure out what they actually did
3 The tramping Club…because they tramp
4 MAC. Meatloaf Appreciation Club. Well, when they were still around
5 The VBC

Clubs that are evil:

1 PNAC : the Project for the New American Century
2 Destiny New Zealand
3 The Sensible Sentencing Trust
4 The Police
5 BOOBS… Because anything Bogan needs to have some Evil running for it

Philias:

1 Paedophilia
2 Dendrophilia
3 Necrophilia
4 Glorifillia
5 Necro-beastiphilia

Religions:

1 Scientology
2 The Church of Satan
3 The Church of Atheists
4 That one with Kali in it… Hindi or whatever
5 Jebus

Things to do when you become president of the U.S.A:

1 Institute casual sex Fridays, that interns have to participate in
2 Fund the building of an ice castle in Finland
3 Hook your Playstation up to the nuclear stockpile
4 Ban all music that is anti you
5 Invade Bhutan