The Week in Politics
By Jackson Wood | 6 Oct, 2008
Firstly enrol to vote. You know those guys who are in the van on the corner of Willis and Cuba every weekend? They are your electoral friends. Go see them, or head to the closest post office, online at
www.elections.org.nz. Legally you need to be enrolled to vote. More
By Hayden Currie |
The polar ice caps could be gone by 2013, allowing the water to heat up, and releasing extra effective warming gases from the permafrost as a bonus. This can only be a good thing, as heating bills go down for most households; anyone less than 80 metres above sea level gets a free full-indoor-Jacuzzi; and prime locations such as Canada and New Zealand get a chance to increase agricultural profits as crops fail across India, Africa, and other Third World destinations. More
By Jackson Wood | 29 Sep, 2008
The Week in Politics
Winston Saga semi resolved
Embattled NZ First leader Winston Peters has been censured by parliament. This basically equates to being told off by your mum’s friend when you’ve been caught smoking in the garden shed.
Buses fucked. Students have to walk up hill.
No doubt stirred on by ex-VUWSA president Nick Kelly, bus drivers employed by GO Wellington were locked out last week after demanding raises to their minimum wage. Maybe if so many of them weren’t cunts they’d get what they want.
Brian Donnally R.I.P.
Ex-NZ First MP Brian Donnally passed away last Thursday. He was a good cunt and will be sadly missed.
MPs leave Parliament
Many MPs are delivering their valedictory speechs in parliament at the moment. Valdectory speeches are a good thing to go down and see if you can manage it so do it. Or Salient will kick you.
Fonterra is under scrutiny from the government after claims that contaminated milk may have been sold in NZ. Thank god I am not a toddler.
Week on the Blogs
It was a heavy week on the blogs with more than 150 comments, mainly due to coverage of the VUWSA election.
We had posts from Stephen Whittington, Nick Kelly, a reply from Sonny Thomas, a letter from Jasmine Freemantle to the returning officer alleging a dirty campaign by Thomas and a statement from the Post Graduate Students Association.
Jackson got down with his political self and blogged about the small stakes that are thrown up into the air during a VUWSA election as well as reviving Salient TV with video content of the Candidates debate.
Comment of the Week
Peter Manglethwaite on Jasmine Freemantle’s complaint to the Returning Officer [Abridged]
“I never said anything about anyone presenting anything resembling an argument. What I did however observe was that your appearances on this website occur when a Workers Party member puts up their wand and sends out red sparks. And just like in the Goblet of Fire, communism, Marxism blahdy blahdy blah is all a fictional tale told to children to make them hope for a better future.”
By Salient | 15 Sep, 2008
A week out from the closing date of nominations for the VUWSA general elections, rumours are abuzz around the Student Union Building over the possible nominees.
Current Campaigns Officer Sonny Thomas is thus far the only known nominee for the Association’s presidency. More
By JJ Wood and Associates | 12 Sep, 2008
Winston Peters
Peters, the parliamentary pugilist, is known for his powerful punches packed with pure poisonous persiflage precision. Peters is at an advantage here, as he is packing a few more weapons than Mr. Glenn.
Firstly, he has his smile: lethal to pensioners at 100 paces.
Secondly, in his right hand he carries the +9 burn damage Bucket of Saprogenisis. His left arm is built up from over twenty-five years of slinging the mystical contents of this seemingly endless vessel of vileness.
Thirdly, his most potent weapon, the Silver Tongue of Tauranga (Hiriwa arero o Tauranga), once thought to have been lost in the Maori Land Wars but rediscovered at the bottom of an empty wine cask during an electoral petition against Malcolm Douglas in 1978.
On the back foot after two months of skirmish attacks by the vultures in the press gallery, Peters is ready for the final battle. Cue ‘The Final Countdown.’
Owen Glenn
Owen Glenn stands back shaking his shaman’s staff towards the heavens. Deep in meditation, he channels the soul of his long lost identical twin: Augie Auer. He reaches down with his index and middle finger and scoops up some of the mud that has come to rest at his feet after weeks of persistent bombardment by Peters. Slowly he spreads it under his eyes in Rambo like fashion.
Glenn, armed with facts, affidavits, and phone records has based his battle plan on a flawed presumption: that the laws of logic and reason still operate within the hallowed halls of the House of Representatives.
Final Result
In a result that nobody expected Winston Peters delivers a decapitating blow to Owen Glenn. Hiriwa arero o Tauranga slices through the connective tissue. Unfortunately for Helen Clark, who was a front row spectator at the match, Glenn’s head lands on her lap. With the scent of billionaire blood entrenched firmly in Winston’s olfactory glands he pounces on Helen’s lap, tearing out her guts and fashioning a turban out of her intestines.
Suddenly democracy as we know it crashes around us, and with his renewed mandate Winston creates a state based around the principals of Economic Tromocracy.
By Salient | 8 Sep, 2008
Peters’ shit might not stink!
After two months of constant media coverage it turns out that Winston Peters’/New Zealand First’s financial woes were just a big fuck up. Late last week Winnie stood down from his ministerial roles but is still playing with his baubles. He is set to appear in front of the privileges committee again, as is Owen Glenn. More
By Salient | 1 Sep, 2008
Tasers are back in
The Government has decided to arm the police around the country with taser stun guns. This was against strong opposition from the Greens – who don’t want to get zapped at radical anti-America or Tuhoe Eight protests. More
By Michael Oliver | 11 Aug, 2008
Sometimes when the night time sky isn’t besieged by cloud and the moon is in its seventh phase with Jupiter aligning with Mars, the gentle sweep of a shooting star across the rim of the horizon heralds the rising of a peculiar looking constellation. More
By Salient |
The main story of the week was National fucking up, well actually it was a multiple fuckup fail fest. Firstly outgoing MP for Tauranga, Bob Clarkson thanked the 150 or so brethren that aided his campaign, this is after vehemently denying their assistance during the 2005 election. More
By Salient | 4 Aug, 2008
How did you become involved in politics?
I came back to New Zealand at the end of 2001 and I looked at New Zealand, and I saw that we were really falling behind relative to a lot of the countries we like to compare ourselves to. I looked at the state of some of our things, like the hospital system, the resources we have for our public services, and looked at where our economy was going. More
By Salient |
Condoleezza Rice came to New Zealand. Auckland University Students’ Association offered a reward for her arrest. She met with Winston, Helen and some other people. At a press conference Duncan Garner made a fool of himself and made New Zealand look like Hicksville, and questioned Winston More
By Salient | 28 Jul, 2008
This week nothing actually happened in New Zealand politics. Media coverage about the going ons of our politicians has focused on Winston Peters getting money, spending money and not declaring money. Salient says, who cares! We don’t. More
By Conrad Reyners |
Salient Political Reporter Conrad Reyners sat down with former Labour Senior Cabinet Minister, ACT party founder and the pusher of ‘rogernomics’ in the 1980’s - Sir Roger Douglas
More
By James Wood | 14 Jul, 2008
A maiden speech is much more than the first speech a Member of Parliament delivers to the House of Representatives. It is a mission statement, an introduction and a generally a tribute to the people from their electorate and to past Members who have held the seat they now sit in. More
By Jackson and Conrad |
Looks like we got ourselves a convoy
This week truckies around the country took to their rigs to protest a $200 increase in their road user charges, the second since 1989. Truckies indiscriminately burnt over $200 of precious diesel fuel in protest driving around main centres clogging the streets, tooting their fucking horns and making me late for brunch and Conrad angry (He wants a free ride too). More
By Conrad Reyners |
Political Reporter Conrad Reyners sat down with Labour Party hopeful Jordan Carter. They discussed economics, homosexual politics, blogging, and other interesting things. For the full interview see www.Salient.org.nz/blog
More
By Jackson Wood | 7 Jul, 2008
The group are sitting in Pravda cafe, inner city Wellington. Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blue, Mr. Brown, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. White, Joe Cabot and his son, “Nice Guy” Eddie are gathered around a table.
Mr. Brown discusses his comparative analysis on Kelis’ “Milkshake” being all about the dick. More
By Matthew Cunningham |
Evil global corporations. Trashy tabloid magazines. The dreaded ‘McJob’. These are just some of the many responses I have heard lately to the question of the American signature on the modern world. And what do they all have in common? Well, unless you enjoy reading about the latest scandalous exploits of Lindsay Lohan and the Hilton gang, they all paint the United States in an unwaveringly negative light. This ‘negative light’ represents a very distinct trend in popular opinion these days – a trend that paints America as the evil big brother of the global community. More
By Jackson Wood |
ACC = Australian Cash Cow
This week National revealed one of their post-election plans to open up workplace accident insurance to private competition. Merrill Lynch, a company Key used to work for, released a report that suggests around about $200 million would go to Australian insurance companies if this happened. Key says they have no plans to privatise ACC, to which Helen Clark said that his promise is “not worth the paper it is written on.” More
By Matthew Proctor | 26 May, 2008
On 16 May, Finance Minister Michael Cullen declared that lower interest rates would be of greater help to families than tax cuts. This column was going to be called “No, Dr Cullen, you’re wrong”. I stand by that; tax cuts mean more cash in pocket than a slight reduction in interest rates. More
