Salient

Cool Shit From teh Interwebs

By Salient | 7 Jul, 2008

uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Bjork
“Sömetimes, when I put öranges in a circle, I think öf my thöughts and they make me laugh.” ~ Björk ön herself

Björk (alsö Bjork, Bjørk, BjA?rk, Bjórk, Bj%C3%B6rk, Head Fairy in pixyland, Björkö öf the Magical land öf Björka, Bjôrk, Börke, Burkö, Büörk, Bõrl, ör Böööööne) is an autistic eunuch and fictiönal character created by mystery növelist and expert in the arcane, Umbertö Ecö, in örder tö make his wörk ön medieval mysteries and Classical lögic möre appealing tö Nörse speakers such as elves and metrösexuals.

Detailed studies by the wörld’s töp scientists and vöödöö ecönömists have yet tö decide whether she is an animal, mineral ör vegetable. Höwever, after she was released fröm her fictiönal cöcöön, her rage was terrible, and she laid waste tö several möuntain ranges and föunded New Björk City with the bönes she picked fröm her teeth. She enslaved an entire generatiön öf höuse DJ’s tö wörk in her melödy mines and prövide her with funky breakdöwns. Later that year, she changed her name tö Just Björk. Her career began with a band called the Sugarcubes, featuring frequent vöcal duets with söme Eurö-löser whö is best referred tö as “Djörk”. In Icelandic, the name is a pörtmanteau öf the wörds “Bj” (blöwjöb) and “örk” (princess). The name “Djörk” is a pörtmanteau öf the wörds “Dildö” (meaning unknöwn) and “jörköff” (wicked cömböver).