Salient

Eye on Exec: Sausages make headline for second week running

By Laura McQuillan | 10 Sep, 2007

The exec last week sat in melancholic despair as they pored over 12 new ‘operational policies’, some of which were so silly that they only made it halfway through reading before Queers Rights Officer Rachael Wright, a Law student, took it upon herself to take the policies away and rewrite them.

The exec noted that the ‘policies’ were somewhat confused with operational guidelines (for example, when onions should be cut up when BBQing), and discussed how if the receptionist is the only person with a key to the stationery cupboard, their days of running riot with paperclips and scissors (the Vic equivalent of couches and fires) are over.

The exec slowly, slowly picked their way over the policies, such as whether BBQ policy 2.1: “Before planning a BBQ in the Quad, you must first let the Union know you are having a BBQ for approval” should exclude the reference to the Union, because they’re not really in charge of the Quad, or if they should just cut off everything after the comma, or perhaps change the comma to a colon. Then they realized it was only half a sentence, and that it couldn’t apply to a latter subsection, because it regarded cleaning the BBQ after use, which can’t possibly take place before planning a BBQ.

My eyes soon glazed over as I took up staring blankly at exec members and then looking away when they made eye contact (it was like flirting, except completely different).

Whilst discussing the ‘Telephones’ policy, Education Officer Stefan Tyler noted that the policy on checking answer-phone messages has, until now, “been more secure than how to make toll calls”.

They also discussed the motion of censure against President Geoff Hayward at the previous meeting for “conduct unbecoming of an executive officer” for signing off on over $1000 of sausages for Study at Vic Day, and suggested the exec should blow their budget, because Student Choice complains when they come in under budget.

Sausages were still the hot topic when International Office Genevieve Fontanier brought up the difficulties she’s had trying to get some tables from the Union for International Festival, and said Union Operations Manager Catriona McBean wouldn’t let them put a BBQ by the Library. Campaigns Officer Tai Neilson made the claim that McBean is “a hateful person” who “hates everyone”.

They also decided that a new microwave would be purchased to replace the one that crapped itself, despite Environmental Officer Tushara Kodikara’s complaining that society is too wasteful, and “back in the day, you repaired stuff, you darned your socks…”

Tai Neilson commented that he hoped the entire meeting would go as slowly, and Kodikara offered to make it go slower.

The meeting ended up being only an hour long, which is very short, but for what it lacked in length, it made up for in depth.

Hopefully I don’t have to write this again next week.

Opinion by Laura McQuillan