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Cover Story

The State of Victoria University

By Tania Sawicki Mead | Mon, 6 Oct 08 |

Inappropriate and lewd lecturer-student relationships! Academic ineptitude! Blatant bias! Marxist crackpots! Wild-eyed megalomaniacs! … Douchebags!
If this sounds familiar, then the best of Salient’s sound and objective reportage over your years of readership has done its job. Long have we maintained an occasionally querulous interest in the performance and role of academic staff here at Victoria University. Critiquing arseholes and hermits alike, Salient has trained its keen eye on the various achievements and failures of the student-staff relationship.

Other features in this issue:

How is VUW Funded?

By Tristan Egarr | Mon, 6 Oct 08 |

In their 2007 Annual Report, the New Zealand Vice-Chancellors’ Committee state that the year demonstrated “the difficulty of grafting capped funding on the back of a largely open entry system for students.” The new funding regime, targeted at rewarding research quality over enrolment numbers, has been slowly implemented by Labour since late in their second term.

How to Procrastinate Efficiently

By Guy Armstrong | Mon, 6 Oct 08 |

“Our appeal goes like this: The myth that the earth is round has been the result of a sustained conspiracy by both governments and the likes of NASA for centuries. Flat Earthers like us have continued the battle, but we’ve been a lone voice.”
What you have just read is a quote from the leader of the Flat Earthers, Mr Nathaniel Pipe-Blower, Tzar and 33rd degree Grand Wizard Master of the First Inverted Pancake Lodge of the Totally Awesome Flat Earth Society Limited.

Henry Ball in Lost and Found

By Helen Cropp | Mon, 6 Oct 08 |

I knew I was in for trouble when she walked into the office. Why? Because she was a dame, that’s why. Dames are always trouble.

“I need your help,” she said. “That’s what I’m here for,” I replied. I eyed the dame up; she was well worth the look. Tall, blonde, blue eyes, fine figure and a snappy dresser. Just what I liked in a dame.

Summer

By Jenna Powell | Mon, 6 Oct 08 |

It is that time of year isn’t it. All the kids love it. We all sit in the grassy knolls anticipating the end of another academic year. Everything seems clearer, lighter and inexplicably nicer. Sigh… Salient Feature Writer and bad ass muthafucker Jenna Powell shares a bit of parting third year wisdom by letting you know what you should do and where you should go this Summer.

Depression is a Jerk

By Haimona Peretini Gray and Tristan Egarr | Mon, 29 Sep 08 |

Depression is a word. And words can be used to describe things. Things like depression. But what is depression (the thing not the word), and how can we sort that shit out?

Spending your youth in either a dank, overpriced, tiny flat or the dank, overpriced, architectural nightmare that is …

Salient Blog

Eye on Council Tristan Egarr
8 December, 2008, 12:54 pm

Hi, I’m Salient Salient
4 December, 2008, 3:34 pm

Kiwi Connection: Backhouse in Bangkok Matthew Backhouse
26 November, 2008, 3:53 pm

Movember Gala Jackson Wood
24 November, 2008, 10:02 am

Last call Jackson Wood
14 November, 2008, 5:54 pm

Latest article comments

Gang Land: Biker Gal
9 Jan, 2009 @ 12:31 am

Unicomm and the horrible history of our halls: Clinton Daley
8 Jan, 2009 @ 7:36 pm

Unicomm and the horrible history of our halls: Ian McPherson
8 Jan, 2009 @ 6:58 pm

Rain of the Children: Louise Arang
7 Jan, 2009 @ 3:47 pm

Wood replaces Egarr: Michael Oliver
7 Jan, 2009 @ 10:39 am

Wood replaces Egarr: jimil
7 Jan, 2009 @ 7:18 am

Wood replaces Egarr: Jenna the Bassist
6 Jan, 2009 @ 3:34 pm

Live Review: The Black Keys: Jenna the Bassist
6 Jan, 2009 @ 3:30 pm

Why Do Chicks Play Bass?: Jenna the Bassist
6 Jan, 2009 @ 3:26 pm

Why Do Chicks Play Bass?: Base Spot
6 Jan, 2009 @ 3:23 pm

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Top 5 places to make out at Uni - By the Giggly Girls’ Club

1. On the lecturer
2. With the lecturer
3. Computer Lab’s esp. on the computer
4. Lecture Theatre’s- esp. during Quan 111- everyone will watch you
5. Study rooms- esp. when they are booked out to someone else.

Top Five Things That Are Probably Going On Right This Instant Somewhere - By Uther
1. You reading this.
2. One of your close relatives masturbating furiously.
3. Someone having a bath in baked beans.
4. A masonic secret handshake.
5. War.

Top Five Alternatives to Democracy in Electing the VUWSA Exec - By Uther
1. A complicated system of coin flips.
2. Mud wrestling.
3. Snail racing.
4. Asking a lunatic in a box.
5. War.

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Columns and Opinion

Editorial

Editorial

By Tristan Egarr | Mon, 6 Oct 08 |

Editing Salient has been one of the most enjoyable, fulfilling things I’ve ever done, and also one of the most soul-destroying experiences of my life, leaving me feeling both accomplished and incredibly bitter. I guess I took this job as an excuse to publish my own work with complete creative control, and a lot of the writing I’ve done this year – particularly court reporting and features on the justice system – were worth it. But I found the best part of this job is actually being able to work with other contributors who have shitloads of talent, helping them make their work as good as it can be, and being constantly impressed by the quality we’re sent.

I’d love to thank so many people for making this year enjoyable, and for improving Salient markedly over the course of the year. First and foremost, Tony for not only putting the magazine together and designing its look, but for anchoring the rest of the team with his phenomenally amicable attitude. Seonah and her newshounds Sarah and Sam (among others) for digging up the dirt. Jon for keeping Salient afloat. Tania and Jenna for delving into the wider issues and taking risks. Matt and Miriam for both trawling through all the copy and columnising. JJ Wood, Conrad and the rest of the political team for spiking MPs’ drinks to make them say compromising things. Haimona, for not only providing acerbic film reviews but for opening his sex life to the world and acting as my consultant on… matters. Jackson Coe, Tom, Sophie, Steph and Chris, and of course Mr Drinkwater, as well as all of their associates in reviewing for putting some culture into our pages. Neil for reminding us that the heart of all this culture is Beer, some varieties of which are incomparably better than others.

Michael, Anna, Eleanor and Jessica, Bobby and Rachael, Yvette, Miyuki, Brent and Dusty for planting our columns with fertile ideas (and other springtime metaphors – I’d also like to thank Spring for whooping Winter’s arse). Sarita for producing quirky crosswords that generally go right over my head, and for cranes. Ashleigh for her dogged determination to find interesting vox pops, and for the saga of the monsters… Mariko for the animals. Nina for cataloguing social causes. Guy, Hayden, Helen, Robbie, Martin, Grant, Matty and other wits for spicing our magazine with insanity. Our volunteer feature writers including Jenah and Matthew; our budding writers moonlighting as distributors Vinh and Jeff. VUWSA, Ngai Tauira, UniQ, The Women’s Group, DebSoc, and innumerable more clubs and societies for your support. And finally, to everyone who picked us up and took a gander at our pages.

The downside to this job is the managerial side. I love my staff and volunteers dearly and have had a ball with you guys. I’ve found Madeleine Setchell and by extension Pat Walsh approachable and helpful, so at least at the top our university is in good hands. But middle management such as campus facilities are often obstructive and more interested in their own power than in providing student services. VUWSA, of course, is dysfunctional, a childish squabble between the Workers Party (whose favourite tactic is ideological scaremongering) and Young Labour (who prefer shrill personal attacks and self-interest). And I feel myself being sucked in to these squabbles.

If there’s one thing I most regret it’s letting slip all those obvious errors and pieces of appalling grammar in the articles we’ve furiously put together late on a Thursday night. Last week I wrote that “continuing problems… demonstrate that problems remain” in the health system. Gross. I guess we just have to hope you readers laugh at such inane tautologies and other fuck-ups, and understand the unbeatable power of our Friday morning deadline. The thing is printed throughout that day and trucked down from Tauranga over the weekend (local printing being more expensive). I guess if I was less stoned we’d be more organised but, honestly? Meh.

Rather than trying to be a junior news magazine, Salient I think has been a more ponderous, academic beast this year, with smatterings of obscure humour. I know it’s been rather odd, and that my love of dragons, drug law reform and history will have moved many of you to yawn and exclaim “lame,” but there’s always been enough other content over the page to stop this being a real problem. And I am happy that I will be passing the magazine over to a pair of talented and responsible hands in the form of 2009 Editor Jackson Wood, who has displayed both a flair for informed humour and a great deal of organisational maturity as unpaid Political Editor over the course of this year. Give the man an email and take part, because after all, this is your magazine: jackson@Salient.org.nz

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