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Dr Cul-de-sac

By Dr Cul-De-Sac | 9 Jul, 2007

The man who sold the moon

From letters written to President Bush by Germans in response to his January 14, 2004 announcement of United States plans to build a deep-space launch pad on the moon. The letter writers are among more than 1,200 Germans who purchased moon lots from U.S entrepreneur Dennis Hope, who claims legal ownership of the moon under a loophole in the 1967 United Nations Outer Space Treaty. No national governments have yet recognized Hope’s claim to the real estate, and it is possible that rival companies have sold overlapping lots to different customers.

Dear Mr. President George W. Bush,
In our local paper of February 1, 2004, I read an article about the plans of the U.S.government to build a space station on the moon. For me this is more than just an ordinary piece of news, because I am the owner of a part of the moon surface. Nearly four years ago I bought an area of 700,000 square metres on the moon. To prove this I include the document of ownership. Reading about your plans I do worry that the future space station might be built on my lot. So I would like to inform you that I might allow the U.S. government to do so, but only if I am paid for that area. If this should happen, I would be ready to enter into negotiations with the U.S. officials.

Dear Mr. President,
I read about the new plans of the U.S.A. to build a moon station. I am a great fan of outerspace activities, and so I like the idea. But since 1999 I have been owner of a small part of the moon surface. I bought it from the Lunar Embassy.

Now, I’d like to know where you plan to build the station. If this would be randomly in my area, you will need my permission. This is no problem, but contact me before further plannings, please.

If you will use another area,who is the owner of this part of the moon? Please contact me if possible in German.

Dear Mr. President,
I am the proprietor of the moon estate with the following position: Moon estate number 1397, longitude 20-24 degrees East, latitude 6-10 degrees North. This is 700,000 square metres. If you intend to use my area within the bounds of your intention, to build a moonbase or something else on, over, or under the surface of this moon area, you have to contact me personally. This must be absolutely, to clear up under which special conditions I will leave the rights of use to you or the United States of America. If you or the United States of America at all will fail to do this, I will take legal action at an American court of justice, to receive a compensation of 10,000,000 Euro. But I believe that you or the United States of America will be a considerable business partner.

The Sexy Taxman

From an information guide prepared by the “Specialudit” unit of the Inland Revenue Department,”to assist in answering questions from sex workers.” The special audit unit collects taxes on income from illegal activities, such as drug sales, prostitution, fraud, theft, money laundering, kickbacks, extortion, and bribes. It has assessed over $200 million in taxes since its inception.

Sex workers can describe their occupationon Inland Revenue Department forms as Contractor, Consultant, Commission Agent, Hostess, Receptionist, Entertainer, or any othersimilar description. They can reduce the amount of tax owed at the end of the year by deducting certain expenses from their businessas private operators. The various expense items are explained below. Please note that this is by no means an exhaustive list.

CONSUMABLE ITEMS

The total cost of consumable items is an allowable deduction. These include condoms, lubricants, gels, oils, tissues, bubble bath, dairywhip, and other similar items used when providing a service to a client.

CLOTHING

Clothes that will be used only when earning income may be deducted. Examples would be lingerie, costumes, and any see-through garments.

PRIVATE EXPENDITURE

Some expenses are generally considered to be of a private nature and therefore are not tax deductible. These include gym fees, drugs and drug rehabilitation, fines, and associated legal fees.

MEDICAL EXPENSES

Private operators can claim industry-specific medical expenses, such as HIV and STD tests. Further, medical expenses that may be deductibledepending on the circumstances include pregnancy tests, abortions, and cosmetic surgery.