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Questions?

By Jackson Wood | 3 May, 2008

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US Republican presidential hopeful, John McCain, proved today that politicians can never give a yes - no answer to the simplest of questions.A guy called Marty Parrish asked of McCain:
“This question goes to mental health and mental health care. Previously, I’ve been married to a woman that was verbally abusive to me. Is it true that you called your wife a cunt?”

To which McCain replied:
“Now, now. You don’t want to … Um, you know that’s the great thing about town hall meetings, sir, but we really don’t, there’s people here who don’t respect that kind of language. So I’ll move on to the next questioner in the back.”

Apparently the audience gasped, horror struck that someone would use such a word when addressing a possible President. Parrish was then escorted out of the meeting by the Secret Service to be questioned! As all of us know, anybody who would ask an uncomfortable question to a presidential candidate–especially one who has a reputation as a “straight-talking maverick”–is obviously an America-hating terrorist who wants to do physical harm to that candidate.

Which makes me think how lucky we in NZ are to be so accessible to our politicians. We have forums like the Aro Hall meeting where half the city turns up to watch the candidates get heckled, and we can even walk past our MP’s on Lambton Quay and mutter derisive comments, without getting pulled aside by men in black suits.

If you had to ask a highly inappropriate question to the leader of a NZ political party, what would it be?

Nothing too crass please. Witt and conciseness will get you more points than vulgar humour.

Comments

Kerry
May 3rd, 2008 at 11:40 am

The Hon Winston Peters:

So, does the foreign travel get in the way of your drinking?

Supplementary question: Are you allowed back in Hummingbird yet?

Jackson Wood
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:22 pm

B - This was a well formed question which has the opportunity to embarrass. However your choice of foe was such that I doubt that you would receive a polite reply.

Conrad Reyners
May 3rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm

To the Prime Minister,

Given the success of Ian Wisharts book “Absolute Power” do you still hold opposition to the MMP electoral system?

Jackson Wood
May 3rd, 2008 at 5:04 pm

B + Highly embarrassing, but unless you have a 1994 issue of North and South probably inaccessible to the common person.

Conrad Reyners
May 3rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm

To Gordon Copeland,

Given your opposition to the anti-smacking legislation, and your defection and formation of a new party as a result, can you provide any concrete reasons for missing the parliamentary vote on its passing?

Jackson Wood
May 3rd, 2008 at 9:07 pm

A - Zing.

Gibbon
May 3rd, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Wishart’s book has, to the contrary, been selling rather poorly, last I heard. Care to correct me if I’m wrong?
Gib

Jackson Wood
May 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 pm

http://www.booksellers.co.nz/bk_bst_current.htm
CORRECTED!

Gibbon
May 4th, 2008 at 1:20 am

Thanks J-Man.
Gib

The Smelly Marxist
May 4th, 2008 at 1:34 am

“how lucky we in NZ are to be so accessible to our politicians”. This doesn’t mean that they listen to us or allow for the expression of dissenting political opinions. My question, to any of the Labour Party MPs: “Do you remember exactly when you sold out, and how much did they pay you?”

Haimona Gray
May 4th, 2008 at 5:36 am

“Do you remember exactly when you sold out, and how much did they pay you?”

To quote the luminous Amy Winehouse - “I don’t believe any of this crap about him selling out, I just think he’s a wanker”
The worst of them didn’t ’sell’ out, they did it for nothing and had very little in the form of scruples to sell in the first place.

William S. Burroughs
May 4th, 2008 at 11:45 am

Okay this is crass but I do it in solidarity with ripped-off students all over the nation:

Lockwood Smith:

Did your ‘intimate touch’ with the youth of the nation make you ideal for running tertiary education?

Supplementary: If so, why did you fuck it up so badly?

Jackson Wood
May 4th, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Smelly: C Barely an insult, a run of the mill comment by anyone who dislikes labour. Generally this would be a fail, but you started off by ragging on something I wrote, so you get bonus marks.

William S.: A I like it how you intimated that he likes to touch kiddies, and then you swear. That would get all the blue rosette wearing elderly roused into peak anger. It would also probably make him blush. Good work.

Chris
May 4th, 2008 at 2:05 pm

And also probably make him sue.

Conrad Reyners
May 4th, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Well then at least he could turn to Nick Smith for advice and moral support.

Uther Dean
May 4th, 2008 at 4:45 pm

Mr. Key -

What is “love”?

Jackson Wood
May 4th, 2008 at 6:20 pm

B Average, with a dash of okayness. I have no doubt that he would not hesitate and answer with something along the lines of: “Money, money money.”

Gibbon
May 4th, 2008 at 10:34 pm

Maori Party MPs:
when does 120 equal 121?

Uther Dean
May 4th, 2008 at 11:43 pm

Helen,

How many fingers am I holding up?

Gibbon
May 5th, 2008 at 1:13 am

John Key:
This question goes to mental health and mental health care. Previously, I’ve been married to a woman that was verbally abusive to me. Is it true that you called your wife a cunt?

Gibbon
May 5th, 2008 at 1:15 am

Mr Dean was your question to J. Key above a reference to The League of Gentlemen?

Uther Dean
May 5th, 2008 at 2:06 am

Yes, Gibbon.
Yes. It was.

knobgobbler
May 5th, 2008 at 9:55 am

Question to all MPs:
How much knob could a knob gobbler gob, if a knob gobbler could gob knob?

Supplementary: Would you gobbo knobo if you thought you would win an erection?

Jackson Wood
May 5th, 2008 at 9:13 pm

Gibbon 1: F FAIL. That is not embarrassing or inappropriate. It just displays your lack of knowledge about MMP.
Uther: A This missed out on an A+ only because there wasn’t the associated hand gesture along side.
Gibbon 2: F FAIL. You just copied what some dude said to McCain. Thats plagiarism. Your kicked out whatever it is that your in.
Knob: C+ Please do not comment on my posts again. You get points for creativity as does your play on words… heh heh erection.

Gibbon
May 6th, 2008 at 12:29 am

Uther I like you so much! I think I have finally found a friend.
PS You were great in Zoo Story.

Jackson:
I was being SATIRICAL

Uther Dean
May 9th, 2008 at 12:16 am

Thanks, Gibbon.

Hanz Schluessel
May 11th, 2008 at 7:09 pm

Murray McCully: Do you and Jane let the dogs watch?

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nameflJackson Wood

Yo. My name is Jackson. I write stuff for Salient. More specifically I write stuff about politics, which maybe because I am the Politics Editor. Got me a degree in Politics and International Relations (and another from the School of Hard Knocks) Doing honours in politics this year, so not much time to do anything else. I rant, I cry, I open my heart to you, and what do I get in return? NOTHING. I pity you fools. I shall stomp on you like smurfs. Viva l'oiseau dans mon pantalon!