Salient

Fax to the Future: Craccum enters the 21st Century
By Jason Lumley

An intensive I.T. rollout of new and exciting technology is promising to revolutionise the way Craccum communicates with its fellow student press correspondents and the world outside the University.

The launch of Craccum’s facsimile communications network will allow Craccum reporters to communicate with student journalists across New Zealand, and also allow them to receive bulletins from the Aotearoa Student Press Association newswire as fast as their paper-tray refilling abilities allow.

At a special simultaneous unveiling and ribbon-cutting ceremony held in the Craccum offices on Wednesday, Craccum Editor Daniel Sloan said that the voluntary student association model had not been kind to Craccum, but now the magazine was “right up with other student publications in this country in terms of technology at our disposal.”

The launch was not without its hitches. After activating the network, there were some fears that the facsimile machine (referred to by geeks as a ‘fax’) may have triggered an international release of Skynet, possibly causing the start of Judgement Day, as demonstrated in the futuristic documentary series Terminator.

Craccum Books Editor Sam Finnemore was concerned enough to suggest the machine be removed, and his concerns were not allayed when the machine printed out a message reading “Error Code 40: Cannot Connect With Missile Silo. Please Consult User’s Manual.”

Another hiccup also occurred when it was discovered that the machine had somehow sent a ‘Breaking Paul Buchanan News’ story to Victoria University student magazine Salient. However, the ‘fax’ arrived in the VUWSA offices with a giant drawing of a penis attached instead.

Editor Daniel Sloan rang Salient to apologise for the incident, which he later commented was “almost certain to have been caused by a security breach from outside the magazine” and that it would be most out of character for Craccum to engage in such reckless use of advanced technology.

Salient however took the incident in their stride, and informed Craccum that students submissions of penis drawings were not uncommon. Salient Editor Tristan Egarr did however express concern that while the penises received from students were usually quite cartoonish, the drawings of vulvas received by Salient tended to be rather graphic. Craccum apologises unreservedly for any offence this may have caused VUWSA or Salient.

Sloan informs us that all security issues with the ‘fax’ machine have been resolved, and Craccum is currently assessing a system called UseNet, although any roll-out would not take place until at least mid 2011.